Self-observation


The season “The lost art of observation” has its first post about self-observation.

The concept of self-observation is self-explanatory: we watch and listen to ourselves, we watch and listen to our thoughts, feelings and behaviour.  
Why? I offer a very simple reason – because we need  to collect data about ourselves. We do not need to do anything with this data. Just collecting it changes us.
The art of self-observation has been lost because we do not practice it. We spend most of our lives on autopilot. The autopilot mode consists of our habits. When we are in autopilot mode our mind is not focused, it wanders. A recent study showed that people spend nearly 47% of their waking time in mind wandering, in other words – not thinking about what they are doing. Nothing wrong with that. We make more than 35,000 decisions a day so the autopilot mechanism helps enormously to live a comfortable life. The paradox is that the autopilot (our habits) make our lives easy and unhappy. Studies have discovered that when the mind wanders two things happen: we think about the past or we  plan the future.  And by doing that we become unhappy. So no surprise that so many mindful practices exist to keep us in the present.
 
 
As any art, self-observation is an activity that requires creative skills, practice and is based on some principles. In this post I will outline the principles of the art of self-observation  based on the book “Self-observation” by Red Hawk. 
 
 
 
1. Self-observation is non-judgmental. We do not classify, we do not conceptualise. We do not want to understand our past, why we are the person we are, why we are not as others. No! We just watch, listen, allow, accept. Whatever we observe – emotion, thought, action – we stay neutral. It is not at all easy to do it but it gets better with practice. 
 
2. Observing the object. In other words , we do not change the object of observation – we  do not engage with our thoughts, feelings or behaviour when we self-observe. The mind has a very specific characteristic – a thought appears, followed by another one , and another one, a chain of thoughts and feelings  and we find ourselves fully immersed in them. That is not self- observation, as the object of observation has changed. Again it is not easy to stay in line with this principle but practice makes us better. 
 
 
3. Sensations in our body. One very useful thing to remember is that the body and mind are interconnected and observing the sensations in our body not only collects data but keeps us in self-observing mode. We are observing the bodily sensations as well as our thoughts, emotions and behaviours. 
 
 
4. Honesty. Be brutally honest with yourself. We all want to look good in front of other people. We pretend, lie or suppress our manifestations. Self-observation requires honesty, the raw truth. It may cause pain but watching the pain, without interfering helps to transform it. Emotions are energy and the body knows how to deal with the energy, how to use and transform it. 
 
So, as a result of self-observation we gain some insights and these insights are about our habits.
What we do with these insights is up to us. We may choose to do nothing. Very good – the actual process of self-observation has already changed us, or at least our attitude to the habits. Or maybe we will choose to do something with the insights we have gained – establish new habits, change habits, break habits. 
The next post in this season is about the protocol of self-observation. 

Dopamine – the molecule of motivation and desire to pursue more Part 2

It is worthwhile using the knowledge of the powerful molecule of dopamine and its working mechanism to better our daily life. 
Again, as in Part 1 of the “Dopamine” post I base my suggestions on the podcasts of Andrew Huberman, a Professor of neurology and ophthalmology at the Stanford School of Medicine. Many of you have heard of  these practices/protocols, tried them or use them regularly. They work! They will work even better if you modify them to suit your personality and ability and to stay flexible in their implementation.
 
1.The first protocol is very simple, free and has proven useful in my own experience. You already know that dopamine is released even in anticipation of an event. If you engage your mind to rehearse your actions with excitement and anticipation, the dopamine will be released as a result and motivate you to really get into action. You just need to be very thorough, to go through the details of the motion, step by step. For example, if you need to study but cannot make yourself open the book just imagine what you need to do in complete detail: – getting up and sitting at the desk, opening the textbook, finding the subject chapter, starting to read and understanding the text, enjoying the reading etc. 

You can use this protocol for everything you want to do but just cannot find the motivation. If you want to do some running  but cannot make yourself to do it – imagine you are getting up from the sofa/bed, putting on your fancy sport gear, then the trainers, then the fancy sports watch, setting it up, go out, starting running, enjoying it and feeling great. I used to practice that with my running, now I am applying it to my yoga sessions and it works every time.

 
2. Having cold showers. Actually, not only cold showers but also swimming in cold sea, plunging  in cold bath, going to a spa equipped with Scandinavian cold water baskets etc. I have been practicing having cold showers for more than 18 months now and cold showers are part of my morning routine. I start with a warm shower and the last 1.30-2 mins I turn the tap to cold. I like having cold water all over my body including my head but it is time consuming to dry my hair afterwards so I take it as it comes – flexibility is the key. 
The benefits are tremendous. I feel energised, my body feels strong and capable, I have a clear mind and I am calm and alert. The dopamine euphoria lasts approximately 2-3 hours. Delicious! It does not matter how cold the water is and how long you stay in it, as long as it is safe and you feel the benefits afterwards. Nothing dangerous or silly must be attempted. 
 
I initially heard about the cold dopamine therapy listening to a podcast with Wim Hof (The Ice Man).  His life and achievements are incredible and you can read his life story online. He seems a very charming, convincing and good-hearted man. I have been using his app to guide my cold shower practice and breathing techniques for  more than a year and find it very useful. 
Of course, you need to be aware that you will feel the shock of the low temperature every time you go into the cold water, regardless of how long you have been practicing. But that has very positive side effects – it teaches you to face challenges and to stay calm under pressure. If you do not fancy doing this alone there are local groups that practice swimming in cold water, I personally know a local group of women swimming in the sea called “ The Blue Tits”. It sounds like great fun. 
3. And the last of my protocols for dopamine benefits is intermittent fasting. Firstly, if you recall, regular end rewards actually kill the enjoyment of the activity. Secondly, after every dopamine peak there is a dopamine low. So I practice skipping some rewards. It is the same as being hungry – If you were hungry the food you put in your mouth is delicious, tasty and gives you pleasure. Thirdly, novelty and surprise lead to a huge dopamine release. Giving yourself less rewards, employing novelty and surprise, works not only to release dopamine and motivate you but also helps you to maintain the baseline dopamine level in your body or even to increase it. Sounds counterproductive but it works in reality. I like fashion and buying clothes is one of my rewards for good achievements. However, I often avoid  giving myself this reward. My focus is on enjoying the work, the creativity, the challenge. I am saying to myself that I  am not there for rewards, I am there because I like what I am doing. If the rewards comes, that is even better. 
I remember one morning when I was doing Ashtanga yoga. There is a pose called Parivritta Parsvakonasana (Revolved Side Angle Posture). It was not only difficult to pronounce, it was always difficult for me to do and to hold it. I was very tempted to skip it as it was too hard. And then the thought appeared. – It is hard exactly because I need to do it, I need to work on it, not to avoid it. Facing the challenge to try to hold the posture also gave me enjoyment and excitement.The motivation I received from this thought helps me in many other situations when it is hard. If it is hard it is because we have the pleasure of challenging ourselves to make it easier with practice. 

Dopamine – the molecule of motivation and desire to pursue

I am a big fan of podcasts and hope to launch my own lifestyle podcast “Natter with Nina” in October 2022. 
This article about the chemical in our brain called dopamine rephrases some of the podcasts on the subject created by Andrew Huberman, a Professor of neurology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. His podcasts are based on “neuro-biological principles and objective mechanisms”.
 
Dopamine is a very powerful molecule in our body and has two main roles:
1. It controls our motor functions (our movements)
2. It influences anticipation, motivation to go out and pursue and the desire for more
You probably recall that serotonin was the molecule of bliss, of contentment with what you have, of the here and now. The dopamine molecule is the opposite – it motivates us to reach out for resources, to have more, to desire or to crave.
The amount of dopamine in our body is determined by our genes. Therefore some people are naturally more driven, ready for action and striving to achieve. Others are more apathetic with a lower urge to attain goals or satisfy needs. 
 
So our dopamine baseline is set up genetically. Additionally there are behaviour (activities) and substances that can increase our level of dopamine. For example:
  • eating chocolate increases the level of dopamine 1.5 times
  • practicing sex (including persuasion, anticipation and actual sex) – 2 times
  • nicotine – 2.5 times
  • cocaine – 2.5 times
  • exercise (only if you enjoy it) – 2 times
  • amphetamine – 10 times.
 
It looks simple – practice these activities or take substances and you will achieve your goals. Sorry, It is not so simple at all. The catch is that every peak of dopamine in the body is followed by a crash in the dopamine level and more importantly, the crash lowers the amount of dopamine  below the starting line.  I remember crossing the finishing line of my first marathon in Rome – it brought me indescribable pleasure, I felt great, I felt on the top of the world. Some days later all this euphoria was gone and I felt very depleted, very sad. 
If the peaks of dopamine are very high the lows are very low and eventually the general dopamine baseline will decrease. Moreover, dopamine is the chemical of craving, of the desire to have more. After every release of dopamine we feel pleasure followed by the pain of craving for more. So, the first time you try a Lindt chocolate it melts in your mouth and pleasure spreads through your body, but the second time it is not so great and the next time even less. You need more and more chocolate to feel the same delight as before. It is a vicious circle and leads to addiction – drug addiction, food addiction, sex addiction, gambling addiction, video games addiction, Iphone addiction, social media platforms addiction, addiction to pornography, etc. Having more decreases the pain of craving.
Another important fact is that novelty and surprise bring huge releases of dopamine.
Dopamine motivates us to take action to achieve a goal and obtain the reward. And here is another catch in the way dopamine works. To achieve the goal requires hard work, even harder if the work is not liked and the reward comes at the end. An interesting project was conducted at Stanford University involving children in kindergartens. Only children who liked drawing were selected to participate and they were given rewards at the end of every drawing session – golden stars and some toys. After a period of time the scientists stopped giving these regular rewards. Remarkably, the children also stopped enjoying the drawing as a result. The pleasure of the regular rewards surpassed the pleasure received from drawing and made the effort to achieve the goal (drawing better) much more difficult. The release of dopamine as result of regular end rewards can keep you motivated for a short period of time but do not work in the long term.
So this molecule of pleasure and pain seems quite awkward, like Jekyll  and Hyde. How can we use the knowledge that science gives us to be more motivated and more driven to achieve our goals? The wonderful Professor Andrew Huberman has suggested some tools and protocols to help with that. Maybe you have already guessed some of them or even practice them. The next post in this section will be about how to balance the pleasure and pain of dopamine release for our benefit in everyday life. 

Was Nietzsche wrong – why do not we listen?

Recently I came across a statement of Friedrich Nietzsche (yes, the German philosopher who also said “What does not kill you makes you stronger”) – “And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music”.

Initially I quite liked the statement. Those who do not hear and listen to something so beautiful and emotional like music (they are obviously not cool and do not have fun) condemn the awesome people who enjoy and treasure the dance of life. And, of course, I was in the group of the quirky people. 

 

On second thoughts, I was not so keen on the proposition. Actually, I found it divisive and dogmatic. It says that there are only two ways to react if you listen – to dance and be cool or to  brand those different from you insane.
What happens if you listen to music and enjoy it quietly? What if you listen to music and sing-along? What if dancing is not good for your body and soul?

 

This brought me to the big subject of the art of listening. We all want to be heard but we do not listen. Why is that? Is it only the listener who is to blame? 
Communication is a two-way process and let’s look at the reasons we do not listen. 
1. We do not listen because we are thinking what we will say when the speaker finishes talking. Human beings are selfish and our opinion is more important to us than the other’s – that’s life. However, there are also other contexts when our words could have significant consequences , so rehearsing them in our mind instead of listening is what we do. 
2. We hear the speaker through our conscious or unconscious prejudice. Maybe we do not like the appearance, the accent, the manners, etc of the speaker.  (Incidentally, I am very proud of my post “Let’s celebrate the accents”. Yesterday i read a newspaper article which not only confirmed my conclusions but announced the commencement of a major project into accent bias.: https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/jun/12/accent-discrimination-is-alive-and-kicking-in-britain-study-suggests).
3. We are genuinely not interested in the subject  – we know much more on the subject, we have heard the speech many times, we do not know why we are there. 
4. The pace of speaking is not right – it is speedy or it is very slow. If the speech is quick we cannot not process it, if it is very slow we lose the will to live (reference: work or club meetings)
5. The language is too complicated or intolerable.
6. We are tired or even exhausted. Listening requires mental energy and physical or mental tiredness is a barrier to listening. 
7. We are in flow – doing something that absorbs us, something that we are passionate about and don’t want to stop and listen to the distraction.
8. We listen but what we understand is different to what was said. The reason is being we subjectively process the words through our own experiences and values.
9. The environment is very noisy and it is difficult to listen. 
10. We disagree with what was said and stop listening.

Poor speaker! George Bernard Shaw (Irish play writer and winner of the Nobel Prize for literature in 1925) describes it beautifully: “The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place”.

Musee Rodin – do not miss it

On the left bank of River Seine in the 7th arrondissement of Paris you will find a real jewel- Musee Rodin. There are at least four reasons not to miss it when you visit Paris:

1.  The crowd is much less than at the other Parisienne attractions

2.  You will spend a few hours enjoying magnificent sculptors in one of the most beautiful gardens in the world and inside a splendid building of the former hotel Biron

                  

3.  You will be fascinated by the life of one of the most talented artists of modern times – Auguste Rodin (1840 -1917)

4.  You can admire three paintings of Van Gogh – Pere Tanguy, The Viaduct in Arles and The Harvesters and a painting of The Rodin’s Thinker by Edvard Munch. 

                                               

 

Of all the sculptures displayed in the Musee Rodin I have two favourites – The Thinker and Balzac. 

The famous Thinker presents a man with a very fit and powerful body (nowadays we cannot attach gender) sitting on a stone in a moment of deep thought and concentration. It appears that he has risen above daily chores and noises, above the external world and is contemplating his inner worth and space. It is very clear to me why Rodin was acknowledged as a modern sculptor – he did not go for a photographic similarity of the figure but expressed himself as an artist, expressed feelings, concepts and ideas. One of the man’s legs is not fully developed and is still part of the stone, the surface is not smooth but has traces of sculptor’s tools (is that reminding you of the brush strokes on the paintings of Van Gogh?!). The sculpture just invites us to stop for a while, to slow down, to rise above modern day speed and impatience and look for inner peace. 

The “Balzac” sculpture caused a scandal when it was presented by Rodin.  The author of Human Comedy was well known for his habit of  writing standing up wearing his dressing kaftan. Creating his monument, Rodin chose not to use any symbols such as books and pens or to go for a photographic resemblance of the writer.  Instead, he presented a revolutionary monument, showing a man with vision, a genius looking over the world, powerful with his intellect and talent. Surprise, surprise – The Society des Gens de Letters who commissioned it refused to accept it.  Why? Because the decision was made by yesterday’s people and not people of vision. (the story of our lives). 

Rodin’s personal life is very interesting for me for two reasons. Firstly, Rodin was not a mainstream artist. He applied three times to the prestigious Ecole des Beaux-Arts and failed every time. He had a very long apprenticeship mainly in the studios of the very fashionable sculptor Albert-Ernest Carrier- Belleuse in Paris and Brussels, learning the trade of the decorative craft. He was 35 when his first sculpture The man with the broken nose was accepted by the Salon. Success came to him when he was 40 years old. Maybe the fact that he did not have an academic education and was more practitioner than creator was a blessing in disguise as this paved his way to become the most famous sculptor of the 20th century. 

Secondly, Rodin met his long-time partner and wife for two weeks, Rose Beuret, when he was 24. She was a seamstress and they had one son Auguste Beuret (Rodin gave him only his first name not his surname). The artist had endless affairs but Rose never left him. Maybe she loved him and/or she appreciated that she was living with a genius. Rodin was unfaithful to her and had a 10 year passionate affair with one of his students, Camille Claudel. Camille became his lover and muse. She was also a talented sculptress. They separated when Rodin refused to leave Rose for Camille but they still kept in touch. However, in 1893 Camille created The Age of Maturity sculpture. It has three figures. In the middle is a man, on the left is a much younger woman on her knees who is looking longingly towards the man, The man is reacting to her but at the same time is leaning to the right where there is a mature woman embracing him. The mature woman is smiling and guiding the man away from his young lover. Rodin was furious with this sculpture and that was the end of his relationship with Camille. Camille continued her creative work but became ill and was confined to an asylum. Rodin married his long-time companion Rose two weeks before her death. 

Musee Rodin has a room dedicated to the work of Camille Clodel, including The Age of Maturity. One wonders whether mature ladies should choose to live in France if handsome and talented French men appreciate maturity so much (reference: current President Macron).

Palais Garnier – a world “magnifique”

I have been to some of the most famous opera houses in the world (Sidney Opera is still on the list) but Opera Garnier in the Place L’Opera in the 9th arrondissement of Paris is something magnifique in its own right. The taxi approaches the square from the beautiful L’Opera Avenue and the building is in front of us (my husband Adrian and I) – monumental and authoritative but attractive and artistic at the same time. The building was commissioned by Napoleon The Third in 1860 (he was the nephew of Napoleon The First). The anonymous competition to build the Opera House in Paris was won by Charles Garnier who was a very young architect (35 years old) and had not build anything before this commission. 

                         

A big crowd of tourists is sitting on the stairs of the Opera, chatting, people watching, enjoying the warm Parisian evening. Adrian and I climb the stars between the tourists, show the barcodes of our online tickets to the security guards and “Abracadabra” – doors are open to a magical world.  

The Grand Staircase of the Opera is breathtaking – a mixture of marble, gold and light. Ballet lovers are all around, buying programmes, taking pictures, looking around – all happy to be here. There is no dress code. Some people (obviously tourists) are in their casual trousers and t-shirts. An elegant French couple enjoy a glass of wine – the woman is in a beautiful little black dress and her partner wears an immaculate suit with a scarf around his neck in the way that only French messieurs know how to do. A Russian family passes – straight from the St. Petersburg salon of “War and Peace” – the mother has long blond hair and wears a velvet opera coat, the daughter is a little princess in a dusty pink dress with tulle roses and the father is a copy of Anton Chekhov – intelligent, with a beard and spectacles. 

We have folding seats in the second row from the stage. It is too early to enter the main auditorium for the show  but the friendly French assistant speaks from experience – I can enter it  to take photographs. Of course, I want photographs  but what amazes me is how we all (everyone around me is taking photographs) do not live in the present moment, The main auditorium is spectacular and instead of breathing the atmosphere we are busy with our iPhones. Later, at home we will look at the pictures regretting the moments we are missing now. 

The ballet is the creation of a Swedish artist Mats Ek on the music of Bizet and Chtchedrine, Franz Liszt and Ravel. He is a famous contemporary choreographer whose style of dancing is very expressive, distinctive and immediately recognisable. I dream that time will stop and I will be in this wonderful world forever. 

During the interval the fairy tale continues with a visit to the Grand foyer and the terrace. I also look at the ceiling and the magical  surrealistic figures of the Marc Chagall frescoes. The story goes that in 1960 General De Gaulle and the French Minister of Culture, Andre Malraux, entertained a foreign delegation with the premiere of Daphnis and Chloe, the ballet of Maurice Ravel, in the Opera Garnier. The costumes and decor were created by the artist Marc Chagall. The minister looked at the ceiling, saw the work of Jules Lenepveu (quite academic) from the19th century, and asked Chagall whether he would be willing to paint new frescoes. In 1963 Marc Chagall was commissioned by the French Government to paint the ceiling of the Opera Garnier. The appointment sent a shock through some French circles. The correspondent of the Los Angelis Times described the reaction as if the minister ordered the Eiffel Tower to be painted pink! The message was that foreigners should stay away from French heritage (Chapel was originally from Belarus). 

                                       

The Government and Chagall compromised – Chagall’s painting should not destroy the original paintings. They were painted on a suspended, removable canvas, 240 meters square. The paintings are colourful, a joyful tribute to 14 distinguished composers in two circles. They are so beautiful that one could hardly imagine there was any opposition to them when they were revealed on 23rd September 1964 . By the way, Chagall did not take a penny for his work as he regarded this work as a great honour. 

The ballet is over, it is time to go. Outside, on the stairs a man is playing guitar and two couples are dancing with many singing and laughing. In front of us is the River Seine and the magical world of Paris. 

 

10 Things to know about HIGHCLIFFE Food&Arts Festival 2022

1. WHEN  –  Saturday, 11th June, 10.00-17.00

                      Sunday, 12th June, 10.00 – 16.00

2. WHERE  –  Lymington Road (High Street) and The Recreation Green 

             

3. ADMISSION  –  Free for everyone

4. FOOD AND DRINKS  –  Over 80 artesian food and drinks stalls, most of them in the High Street

             

5. CHEFS  –  Jan-Christophe Novelli, Lesley Walter and many distinguish  local chefs. 

             

6. ARTS  –  Over 60 specially curated craft stalls on the Green

7. CHILDREN  –  Pottery and art classes, Kids kitchen, treasure hunt, Grow Your Own, face             painting, playground, funny photos

                                                     

8. ENTERTAINMENT  –  Two stages – Main stager on the Green and The Tesco Express stage – everything from Swing Unlimited Community Band to Fifinellas, Highcliffe school, the Charity Players.

9. ORGANISERS  –  Non-for-profit organisation of volunteers – residents of the village. 

Mary Reader – Director – Sponsorship, PR&Marketing, Cookery demonstration and entertainment

10. ENVIRONMENT  –  Environmentally friendly waste management and recycling

More information – www. highcliffefoodandartsfestival.co.uk

HAPPINESS AS A SIDEBAR

Happiness as a goal

Everyone wants to be happy. This sentence implies that happiness is some kind of goal we create  and work towards. Then what comes about when we diligently work  for our happiness – are we unhappy, miserable, in anticipation of future bliss? Further, what happens when we achieve the goal – are we permanently happy or does the happiness fade and we have to set up another goal and strive for happiness again? 

                                 

I really do not think that the “Happiness as a goal” theory and practice are feasible. They appear to our Western mentality but do not make us happy.

Fake it until you make it

Another theory is “Fake it until you make it”. This theory and practice is based on the premise that ultimately mimicking the body language and mindset of a happy person will make you happy. I can see some potential in this theory. If you smile more you feel, if not happy, at least better. Nevertheless, I do not think this practice is sustainable. There is not a solid foundation for happiness – you feel that your happiness is fake  and other people feel it too.

Happiness as a sidebar

Therefore, I am suggesting the “Happiness as a sidebar” theory and practice. It is not my idea but I have instinctively practiced it throughout my life. In a nutshell, if you do what you love or like, what inspires and motivates you, happiness appears as a side effect. If you dare to go into uncharted waters, have a leap of faith, explore the unexplored and try the impossible, or even try something new – happiness occurs as a sidebar on the screen. So, the indirect way is quite direct. 

                                             

It sounds very easy so there should be a catch. What happens if an unhappy event occurs in our very happy lives? What if we face betrayal, non- acceptance, ignorance, illness, loss or an injustice?

Then the story of the “Two Arrows” helps tremendously. The first arrow is the pain – the accident, the loss, the failure, etc. It is painful, we accept the pain and it takes time to deal with it. Sometimes, paradoxically we even experience happiness . Looking after my dying mother and losing her 18 months ago brought unbearable pain but my husband was there for me  – rock solid as the Hans Christian Andersen’s steadfast tin soldier. The tragedy brought us even closer than we were before with absolute trust between us. 

What we should not accept and be aware of is the second arrow that could hit us – our mind, people’s words or opinions, group’s judgements and the pressure of society. This arrow brings layers of pain and unhappiness (we are not talking about support and encouragement from other quarters). People’s words speak volumes about them and not about the person they talk about. What we should know is that there is a very brief moment before the second arrow can reach us when we can decide our reaction. And we usually know who is sincerely there to help and encourage us and who is there to upload their negativity on us. So practise stopping the second arrow before it reaches you. 

How? By performing the lost art of observation.   

More about it in a future post.